You know you're LEBANESE when . . .

[Fatima]

1) You constantly mix Arabic, French, and English when speaking
(okay merci kteer, yallah bye!)

2) You call a night club A Night and Dunkin Donuts The Dunkin

3) You wont drive anything thats not a Mercedes, BMW, or Hummer

4) You get plastic surgery at least once in your lifetime

5) You could always use another pair of sunglasses

6) You use your forehead and eyebrows to point something out

7) You think you are better than everyone just because you are Lebanese

8) You are so class while everyone else are nawar

9) You say you hate all Khaleejis but youll go work in Saudi Arabia or Dubai in a heartbeat

10) Syrians are the butt of all jokes

11) Your family owns at least one Sri Lankan servant

12) You cant do anything in life unless you have a wasta (connections)

13) You have about 40 cousins

14) You have at least one relative named George, Elie, Tony, or Marc

15) All your aunts want to hook you up with a guy/girl they know

16) Family gatherings are filled with gossiping and cat-fights, where the women hang out in the kitchen and the men sit and discuss politics

17) You are constantly talking about the latest Hayfa Wehbe news

18) You have relatives smuggling diamonds in West Africa

19) You bought your drivers license

20) You dont have a job but you drive an SUV and upgrade your cell phone every month

21) You only buy something if it is expensive enough, because the higher the price the better the quality, right?

22) You dress like you're going clubbing all day everyday, probably because you do.

23) If you are a Lebanese girl you give the look of death to another girl who looks better than you

;D

[ahmad]

lol thanx u have more?

[Fatima]

ahmad said:

lol thanx u have more?

You make Turkish coffee before leaving home, when getting to the office, after lunch, when having guests, before the guests leave, after the guests leave and before going to bed.
*
When shops have sale they call your mom.
*
You call an older person you've never met before "Ammo" or "Khaltu".
*
You hide everything from your parents, but they still think they know everything about you, and make you believe that they actually do.
*
People are never happy with what you've achieved. If you graduated from school they'll tell you "Oqbal el Shahadeh el kbeereh", and when u get that "Oqbal el Aroos or Areees", and when you get that "Oqbal ma nefrah be aoulad-kum", and when you get that "Oqbal ma tefrahu bi shahadit-hum", etc...
*
If you are a boy you start worrying about the Swiss Mukhabarat when you reach puberty.
*
Getting a visa to Europe or the States is like getting a baby, everybody tells you "mabrook"
*
You learn how to beg the personnel at the airport to allow the excess baggage you've got as soon as your father stops doing that for you.
*
You dream of holding a different passport.
*
When you FLY BACK home you find 20 people waiting for you at the airport.
*
Every time you fly back home you meet relatives you never knew existed, and they look nothing like your family.
*
You look for universities as far away from home as possible.
*
You always curse at Lebanese when you are back home, but when you live abroad you mostly make Lebanese friends.
*
When you come back from University you still have to live with your parents, and fight over curfew all over again, as if you never left them before.
*
Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
*
Everyone is a family friend.
*
You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
*
You teach Westerners to swear words in your language.
*
When you go on a date you start thinking of lousy places where nobody would go to so you won’t bump into family or friends.
*
You end up in a lousy place and still bump into the relative with the biggest mouth.
*
You think you are liberated when you can't even smoke in public.
*
If you are 25 and not married yet, your parents make you feel that you are getting too old.
*
Getting married becomes the only way you can escape your parents.
*
You tell your friends how to rebel against their parents when you can't even stay out past midnight.
*
You always say, "Open the light" instead of "Turn the light on" or "get down from the car" instead of "get out of the car."
*
You pronounce your p's as b's (bebsi and bolice).
*
You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you a story of how he had to walk miles just to get to school.
*
Your parents were ranked first in school.
*
Your dad swears at you with words that affect him. (Ibnil kalb)
*
You tell everyone that you are a "successful businessman back home" when you are really just an unemployed goat herder.
*
You feel uncomfortable saying the word 'tease' in English.
*
You eat mensef with your bare hands.
*
You smoke as if there is no tomorrow and you only smoke MARLBORO REDS.
*
You only walk on the streets in groups of seven or more people and talk really really loud in Lebanese together.
*
You wear a black leather jacket, even when it is 100 degrees outside.
*
You think its cool to dance and smoke at the same time.
*
If you are a Lebanese girl you give the look of death to another Lebanese girl who looks better than you.
*
Your aunt is always asking when she can dance at your wedding.
*
When you share your problems with your relatives, their most likely response is: Allah Be Yefrejha.
*
When u can't even go out to buy milk without overfixing ur self like u were to go to a wedding

[ahmad]

loool thanx

[Janjoon-Lebanese]

OMG OMG OMG ..
some of these are SHOCKINGLY so true !