Post by lebaneseamerican32 on Sept 20, 2004 18:26:15 GMT -5
3 blondes jump off a building ...
Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building?
They wanted to see if their maxi-pads really had wings.
911
Why can't a blonde dial 911?
She can't find the eleven.
A Blonde's Brain At Work
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."
So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.
"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."
"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."
A Flaky Blonde
One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help.
''It's supposed to be a tiger!'' Sally cried.
''Honey," said Dan, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!''
Adventures in Disneyland
Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left."
So they went home
Air Head on a Beer
Why did the blonde take a ladder into the bar?
She heard the drinks were on the house.
Air Mattress
Q: What do you call a hundred blondes stacked up on each other?
A: An air mattress.
All-Time Favorite Blonde Hijinx!
How do you keep a blonde busy? (see below)
How do you keep a blonde busy? (see above)
Another Saturday Night
Why do brunettes know so many blonde jokes?
Gives 'em something to do on Saturday night!
Artificial Intelligence in a Bottle
What do you call a blonde who has dyed her hair brown?
Artificial intelligence.
Ash Blonde
How did the blonde die raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree!
Autoblonde
Q: What do a blonde and a car have in common?
A: They can both drive you crazy.
Bad Blondes, Whatcha Gonna Do?
A blonde and a brunette are out driving, and the brunette tells the blonde to look out for cops - especially cops with their lights on. After they've been driving for a while, the brunette asks the blonde if she's seen any cops.
"Yes," says the blonde.
"Are their lights on?"
The blonde has to think for a moment, then says, "Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No."
Baking Chocolate Chip Cookies
How can you tell when a blonde has been baking chocolate chip cookies?
There's M&M shells all over the floor.
Banana Peel
A blonde walks down the street and sees a banana peel a hundred yards ahead, and she sighs.
"Here we go again."
Bang! I'm Blonde!
Why did the mirror have 6 holes in it?
A blonde tried to shoot herself!
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?"
"No," replies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"
Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building?
They wanted to see if their maxi-pads really had wings.
911
Why can't a blonde dial 911?
She can't find the eleven.
A Blonde's Brain At Work
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."
So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.
"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."
"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."
A Flaky Blonde
One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help.
''It's supposed to be a tiger!'' Sally cried.
''Honey," said Dan, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!''
Adventures in Disneyland
Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left."
So they went home
Air Head on a Beer
Why did the blonde take a ladder into the bar?
She heard the drinks were on the house.
Air Mattress
Q: What do you call a hundred blondes stacked up on each other?
A: An air mattress.
All-Time Favorite Blonde Hijinx!
How do you keep a blonde busy? (see below)
How do you keep a blonde busy? (see above)
Another Saturday Night
Why do brunettes know so many blonde jokes?
Gives 'em something to do on Saturday night!
Artificial Intelligence in a Bottle
What do you call a blonde who has dyed her hair brown?
Artificial intelligence.
Ash Blonde
How did the blonde die raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree!
Autoblonde
Q: What do a blonde and a car have in common?
A: They can both drive you crazy.
Bad Blondes, Whatcha Gonna Do?
A blonde and a brunette are out driving, and the brunette tells the blonde to look out for cops - especially cops with their lights on. After they've been driving for a while, the brunette asks the blonde if she's seen any cops.
"Yes," says the blonde.
"Are their lights on?"
The blonde has to think for a moment, then says, "Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No."
Baking Chocolate Chip Cookies
How can you tell when a blonde has been baking chocolate chip cookies?
There's M&M shells all over the floor.
Banana Peel
A blonde walks down the street and sees a banana peel a hundred yards ahead, and she sighs.
"Here we go again."
Bang! I'm Blonde!
Why did the mirror have 6 holes in it?
A blonde tried to shoot herself!
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?"
"No," replies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"
;D 
